Let Them Drink Perrier

So what if the Song of the Chattahoochee goes totally silent? We’ve got backup plans. Call out the National Guard to ride around from neighborhood to neighborhood hauling tanker trucks full of water? Oh, they’re all in Iraq? Well, I know George Bush has a plan, and I bet there’s a government contract for Halliburton involved.

Frankly, I’m getting tired of all this Liberal nay-saying. Global Warming. And now Atlanta’s water well is running dry, as is that of much of the Southeast.

It is more than a little suspicious that the Nobel Prize Committee picked this as a time to award their Peace Prize to Al (Greener than Thou) Gore, twice Vice President, once almost President. Now, I admit, it would have been hard for them to award the Nobel Peace Prize to actual President George Bush, even with a re-count in Florida. But you have to conclude the timing of this is politically motivated, just as everybody in Georgia is predicting dry lakebeds statewide by Christmas.

Back in the early summer, even before drought was officially declared for all of North Georgia, including Metro Atlanta, Gov. Sonny Perdue, told farmers in Macon to pray for rain. "We don't need the governor's help, we need God's help," the Governor said. Georgia law permits emergency restricting of water use to the essentials for drinking, cooking, washing, sanitation, and health related activities. Violators can be fined or have their water cut off. Restaurants would be encouraged to provide drinking water to customers only on request and to serve food on paper plates to reduce dish washing.

Georgia, Alabama, and Florida have fought over water for years in the courts. Currently, a temporary agreement to release water from Georgia dams to protect endangered mussels and fish downstream in Florida could not come at a worse time. There is plenty of foolishness to go around. Private lakes and water fountains in upscale office parks and developments. Broken water mains that cities just can’t get around to fixing

Atlanta rainfall for this year is 16 incles below normal. Athens-Clarke County already has notified residents of potential fines of $1,000 for water restriction violations and is considering residential water rationing. Officials in Athens-Clarke County want to cut water use by 30 percent for fear their reservoirs could be empty by Thanksgiving. Nearby Barrow County is considering the closing of schools and businesses due to the drought.

What do these naysayers want me to do? Take shorter showers? Flush the toilet less often? This is the European solution. They’ve been following these procedures for years, even decades. It is no accident that the Paris Metro at rush hour smells of the unmistakable combination of unbathed bodies and perfume. When I lived in Brussels, it was against the law to flush the toilet after bedtime. Additional suggestions include watering houseplants with wastewater from the sink and bathtub. It all adds up, naysayers say.

Copyright 2007 by William C. Cotter