Tuesday, January 29, 2008

GOP Georgiacast

My Republican readers, both of them, want to know my thoughts about the GOP candidates for President before they cast their votes in the Georgia primary Feb. 5. Oh, really? Well, my personal favorite was Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York City who was thrust into the national spotlight by 9/11. An all New York Presidential contest, Hillary vs. Rudy, actually sounded like fun to me, the political version of a Mets-Yankees World Series. That was six months ago. Now, however, for several reasons, this is not meant to be.

Arizona Sen. John McCain, with his Lazarus comeback, certainly assumes the status of front-runner. He is a distinguished Vietnam veteran, a proud and proven patriot, and suspected straight-talker. He is the oldest candidate in either party. If he wins the Republican nomination, the election may become a referendum on the war in Iraq. Sen. McCain has now signed on to President Bush’s Iraq policy, because Bush has adopted McCain’s strategy. If the presidential election becomes a referendum on the War in Iraq, I believe the Republicans will lose. If it becomes a referendum on American patriotism, John McCain will be hard to beat, even without the swiftboat squad.

Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts, born in Michigan where his father was Governor, and savior of the Salt Lake City Olympics, will do well with the Chamber of Commerce and big business. If the George Bush economy has made your day for the past seven years, you will love Mitt Romney. If Mitt Romney is the Republican Presidential nominee, and the economy is the issue, my old yellow dog can run as a Democrat and win by barking, “It’s the economy, stupid.”

Mike Huckabee, an IRS abolitionist, will do well in the Georgia primary. Like Bill Clinton, he was once the Governor of Arkansas, home of Wal-Mart. Like Bill Clinton, he is often photographed playing in a five-piece band. He used to be a professional preacher and has a following among evangelical Christians. In a national election, unlike Bill Clinton, Huckabee will never capture a single electoral vote outside the South.

Fred Thompson of Tennessee once said famously of President Nixon during the Watergate hearings, “What did he know, and when did he know it?” I regret that Fred Thompson has dropped out of the Presidential race to return to his Hollywood hot tub and women half his age. It would be fun to make jokes about him, his lifestyle, and his on-again-off-again political ambitions. However, now that he is off again, I believe he should be cut the same slack as anybody else in Hollywood who opens his big mouth without words put there by a member of the Screenwriters Guild.

Ron Paul, Libertarian and the only Republican running against the war in Iraq, will score a scattering of votes in Georgia precincts like Pine Lake and Virginia-Highlands. He will stay in the race for President even after all the confetti has been swept up at both the Republican and Democratic conventions. He will demand the H. Ross Perot podium at the debates in the general election.

So, I predict that Huckabee will win the Republican Presidential Primary in Georgia, with McCain second and Romney third. Even if I’m 100-percent wrong, that still does not disqualify me for a job on an Atlanta television station as a weatherman to issue hysterical, overblown Severe Winter Weather Warnings that the sky is falling in the form of ice crystals every time the temperature falls below freezing and there is moisture somewhere between Stone Mountain and the moon.

Copyright 2008 by William C. Cotter

5 comments:

Tina said...

My guess is that McCain or Romney will win the Republican nomination..probably McCain. Whatever Republican candidate prevails will have the honor of looking like someone recently embalmed and dressed up in a new suit when placed next to Barack Obama OR Hillary Clinton, both lively, brilliant, and exciting candidates, in a debate. The most one would be able to say about the Republican candidate unlucky enough to debate Barack or Hillary is "My goodness! He looks almost natural."

annette said...

I think McCain will win Georgia and the nomination. He is peddling the war revisited without Rumsfeld. I think lots of American will buy it (hey! they bought the war once, and George Bush twice.) That sincere, old-man-wisdom-Mt. Rushmore look, combined with a few wounded soldiers oughta completely anesthestitize the collective American brain...at any rate, the Repug brain (oxymoron) and bring on amnesia concerning lies about getting into this mess, facts about the lack of success...the bridges over here that need rebuilding...etc. And,
Tina, you're right...McCain is ready for the nursing home and Leiberman is ready to drive him there...HOPEFULLY either Hillary or Obama will hammer so many facts home, a majority of Americans will elect one of them. But you never can tell. If repugs can make Kerry a traitor, and Shrub Bush a hero (they did!), they can so distort the world black will be white, up down, and otherwise reasonable people will fall right thru the looking glass. Eternal Vigilance!!!

Luther said...

You should have called me before making such a fool of yourself. As usual, you are wrong. Congressman Ron Paul is a year older than Sen. McCain, but don't let the facts get in the way of a good story. Also, I do not see why you want to make fun of Paul just because he believes the government should be run the way George Washington and Thomas Jefferson intended. As far as the Atlanta television weathermen are concerned, maybe they should spend a winter in Montana or Minnesota, or even Washington, D.C.

Tina said...

John McCain is my age (71) and Ron Paul is one year older. Healthy people in their 70s can have a pretty good level of energy if they get plenty of rest and not much stress. Being president doesn't fit that description. People in their 70s who get sick don't bounce back as rapidly as they did when younger. And although there may be plenty of knowledge inside the skull, it is not as quickly retrieved. I guess the solution is just to sit there and look like Mt. Rushmore until you remember whatever it was. Not knocking my peers, just telling the truth.

Paw Paw Bill said...

Luther,

Regarding George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, "Turn the Page."

 

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