Dash Away All

Did you get the e-mail calling itself “Getting to Know Obama’s Czars?” The extensive list names appointees of President Obama’s and shamelessly describes their backgrounds with loaded labels, booby-trapped, ready to explode at the slightest touch: ultra liberal, pro-abortion, Black radical, Communist, homosexual, gay activist, socialist, radical environmentalist, and “married to a reporter for the New York Times.” Included are Richard Holbrooke and Dennis Ross, not czars at all but assistant U. S. Secretaries of State, distinguished and experienced diplomats, either of whom was fully qualified for the position of Secretary of State that went to Hillary Clinton. I retain a special interest in the U.S. Department of State, where I worked for several years, and have the greatest respect for those who devote their lives to diplomacy and foreign affairs. Also on this dishonor roll by e-mail is George Mitchell, special envoy for the Middle East, who brokered peace in Northern Ireland after decades of bitter religious civil war, Catholics vs. Protestants, both against the English occupiers. After Mitchell retired as U.S. Senate Majority Leader, he wanted to be Major League Baseball Commissioner. He has also served as chairman of The Walt Disney Company.

The internet and e-mail campaigns to discredit President Obama’s choices for important government positions would be laughable but for the fact that they originate not from basement computers belonging to fruitcakes and losers of no consequence but rather from well-financed and organized devil’s workshops on K Street and Madison Ave. These cynical and sinister opinion manipulators know very well what they seek to do. It is not “ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Just in time for the holidays, I have received an e-mail entitled “Here Comes Santa Claus,“ forwarded to me and three pages of other addressees, not a single one known to me, and originated by someone who had neglected to include a name on the “From” line. This e-mail sounded the alarm that Santa Claus should not be taken at face value, no matter how jolly that face may appear. Pointing out Santa’s choice of red suits, the e-mail resurrected the 1950’s rallying cry, “better dead than red.” Now wait a minute. Santa is a communist? Indeed the e-mail calls the idea “socialism” that every little boy and girl all over the world should receive presents. Further, Santa’s socialistic giveaways lower holiday sales levels for merchandise at the malls, an unpatriotic consequence during the current difficult economy. Call out the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

Santa Claus is a known intruder into private homes, according to the e-mail sent to me. He practices witchcraft and magic black as soot, conjuring himself by pressing his finger to the tip of his nose in order to use chimneys as his method of entry and exit. His well-known transportation by airborne sleigh is pulled by reindeer, among whom are those with the pro-gay names of “Dancer” and “Prancer.” The Santa Claus Toy Shop employs only elves, to whom he provides uniforms with logos saying, “Santa’s Little Helpers.“ For the Christmas rush, he often stops at curbside of his nearest Home Depot to pick up day labor, laid off from productions of “The Wizard of Oz.” Santa offers no hope of a Social Security check at retirement and hourly wages a factory worker in China would not chance. Worse of all is the conspiracy of silence about Santa’s unwholesome preoccupation with children, including keeping predatory lists of which ones are naughty and nice. Contrary to popular myth, Santa does not hail from the North Pole but rather from a place called Lapland, a geographical location allowing him to see Russia from his back porch, without having Sarah Palin at the neighborhood parties. Lapland? Just exactly what anatomical part is the lap, anyway?

Copyright 2009 by William C. Cotter