Saturday, February 13, 2010

Wind Chime

I received an e-mail from Dr. Joseph Chime, who introduces himself as manager, auditing and accounting section, Bank of Africa, Burkina Faso. He urgently wants to transfer $11.5 million into my account. He will split this with me 60/40. Well, you can imagine my excitement and sense of good fortune. This transaction is absolutely legal and risk free, “since I works for this bank,“ Dr. Chime assures me, in case I has any misgivings.

Why would I have misgivings? Just because I have never heard of Burkina Faso does not mean it does not exist? I checked the CIA website: Burkina Faso was formerly called Upper Volta, a French colony until 1960. “Current President Blaise COMPAORE came to power in a 1987 military coup and has won every election since,” according to CIA poker-faced intelligence. Recent unrest in neighboring Ghana and Ivory Coast has hindered employment of several hundred thousand seasonal migrant farm workers from Birkina Faso, which means "the land of upright people" in MorĂ© and Dioula, the major native languages of the country. Ouagadougou is the capital and tops on my list of far away places with strange sounding names.

Dr. Chime provided me his e-mail address at VOILA.COM, as well as a link to a BBC News report of the Air France Concorde crash shortly after takeoff from Charles de Gaulle Airport in 2000.
If I take the inference correctly, among the over 100 fatalities was the previous owner of $11.5 million Dr. Chime wants to share with me at 60/40. All I need to do is provide Dr. Chime with my full name, age, sex, occupation, residence address, country of origin, private phone number, fax number. He does not even ask for my social security number or bank account number, requests easily recognized as red flags to look out for con artists and crooks.

“I will be waiting for your urgent response to my private e-mail,“ he writes. “Before we proceed, i would like to know your ability to handle this over there in your country. Please tell me more about the political/economic stability/monetary policy of your country. I need to know all these because i don't want to have problem with the Government of your country.”

Naw, hell. It ain’t worth that much trouble.

3 comments:

J. Pascal said...

This scam is getting a long gray beard, but it must work. It keeps playing like a tune from Mozart! What I wonder is why the lucky receipient feels he was chosen for such a bounty. At least the lottery requires you to buy a ticket! Incidentally, love that name of the capitol...its by Roy Orbison I think!!

Paw Paw Bill said...

We get about a dozen of these per week. I did not make up any of the quotes. I just loved the part about "Please explain the economic stability and monetary policy of your country." I used to have to type Ouagadougou on the address line of telegrams from the American Embassy in Cairo probably a thousand times. I still have to look it up to see if I am spelling it right. But it is an unforgetable name. If Roy Orbison could not howl it, I bet my dog could if you stepped on his tail.

Tina said...

Some of the ones I have received begin with "Dearest one..." which I think adds an extra little affectionate touch to the scam.

 

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